This story focuses on Todd, the hero of Chapter 5 in Sideways Stories from Wayside School. Before we dive into the fan‑fiction, let’s take a quick look at what the fifth chapter is about.
CHAPTER 5. TODD — SUMMARY
Todd always thinks before he speaks, which makes him a little slower than the other students and causes him to fall behind in his workbook activities. However, he’s the one who ends up saving the day when two robbers suddenly enter the classroom. Todd hands them Joy’s workbook and tells them that knowledge is more valuable than money, an idea so surprising that it sends the robbers running.
Todd used to think before he spoke. Always. And this caused a couple of problems.
At recess, Todd was getting ready to play kickball with his friends when Terrence suddenly appeared. “May I check the ball?” he asked.
“Sure,” Todd said, handing it over.
Terrence grabbed the ball and kicked it over the wall.
Todd stared at him, stunned. “Did you just ruin our game?”
Terrence laughed. “Better scram, little lamb,” he said, and wandered off to bully someone else.
Todd was determined to teach Terrence a lesson. But he couldn’t decide whether to shout, “Off you hop, cheeky pup!” or “Just buzz off, silly moth!”
So, he spent the next three periods silently rehearsing both lines, trying to figure out which one was more devastating. By the time he finally delivered his comeback, Terrence was already on a different bus heading home.
The next day, Mrs. Jewls asked, “What’s the capital of France?”
Todd knew the answer. But he wanted to make sure he used the correct spelling and pronunciation. By the time he raised his hand, the class had already moved on to dinosaurs.
Mrs. Jewls had just asked where T Rex lived when she noticed Todd’s hand. “Paris,” he announced when she called on him. The whole class cracked up.
Everyone dove out of the way. Everyone except Todd, who stood perfectly still, observing the ball’s orbit and trying to calculate its speed.
It hit him in the neck.
“Ouch,” he said.
“What are you doing, Todd?” Louis asked. “Why are you so slow?”
“I’m not slow,” Todd replied. “I just always think before I react.”
“Everyone thinks before they react,” Louis said. “But you look like you’re not reacting at all. What’s going on?”
Todd sighed. “Last Sunday was my birthday. Everyone was waiting for me to blow out the candles, but I couldn’t decide whether to wish for a dog or a gaming console. The candles melted all over the cake.”
“What did you pick eventually?” Louis asked.
“Nothing,” Todd said. “The fire alarm went off and we all ran outside.”
Louis nodded. “Okay. I know what you should do. Speak before you think.”
Todd frowned. “But that’s impossible. People don’t speak before they think.”
“People don’t have your problem,” Louis explained. “You need the opposite approach. Speak now, think later. It’ll fit you like a glove.”
Todd considered this, then nodded. “Alright. I’ll try.”
From that day on, Todd stopped thinking before speaking, and the results were wonderful. He greeted people on time, laughed at jokes while they were still funny, and answered Mrs. Jewls’s questions before the class moved on to the next chapter.
There was only one problem: Mrs. Jewls kept catching Todd talking in class. Every day she wrote his name on the blackboard, put a check next to it, and circled it. As punishment, she sent him home early on the kindergarten bus, where Todd was surrounded by noisy little kids.
They never thought before they spoke.
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