LAB RATS

This story is inspired by the strange behavior of the “new kid” in the fourteenth chapter of Louis Sachar’s Sideways Stories from Wayside School. Before we dive into the fan‑fiction, let’s take a look at Chapter 14, “Sammy.”

CHAPTER 14. SAMMY — SUMMARY

It’s a rainy day, and the classroom smells funny. Mrs. Jewls’s students are excited because a new kid is joining their class. Their excitement quickly turns to horror when the newcomer starts yelling at them and calling everyone mean names. He also manages to stay completely hidden under an impressive pile of smelly raincoats, which he refuses to take off. When Mrs. Jewls finally removes all the coats, she’s shocked to discover a dead rat underneath,, one she promptly throws away.

The building across the street from Wayside School was even taller. Everyone thought it was a fifty story hospital, but in reality it housed army laboratories where dozens of scientists tested advanced equipment and gadgets you usually only see in the movies.

On the fiftieth floor, one lab specialized in training animals: pigeons, fish, and especially rats. Hundreds of rats learned to slip through security systems, report their positions, and complete missions that humans would later use in special operations around the world.

It was lunchtime. Dr. Bidenko slid the glass container back into the metal cupboard and locked it. Then he glanced at one of the video screens on the wall. Inside the container, the rats were clustered around a number puzzle he had prepared for them. If any of the rats solved it, a trapdoor would open and they’d be free to explore the maze below.

He grabbed a hot dog from the table and stepped onto the balcony, where Ms. Germs was already standing. Both names were fake—standard procedure in a secret facility where no one was supposed to know anyone’s real identity.

Ms. Germs was staring into the distance through a pair of oversized army binoculars.

“Checking the sky for spies?” Dr. Bidenko said between bites.

“You can never be too careful,” Ms. Germs chuckled. She lowered the binoculars and squinted at the clouds. “Looks like rain tomorrow.”

“I enjoy rainy weather,” Dr. Bidenko replied. “I’ve got raincoats in every color.”

Ms. Germs shook her head. “Rainy days stink in this part of the city. Too much pollution.”

Dr. Bidenko finished his second hot dog and took a long sip of soda. He paused when a loud bell rang from across the street.

“Recess at Wayside School,” Ms. Germs said, pointing at the playground below. “Sometimes watching the kids is like studying the rats in our lab.”

“What are you talking about?” Dr. Bidenko laughed. “Humans aren’t like rats.”

“But rats can be like humans,” Ms. Germs replied. “Here! Look at this.”

She handed him the binoculars and pointed toward the kickball field.

“That boy in the middle is Todd. Watch him.”

Dr. Bidenko focused the lenses. Terrence kicked the ball, which shot off in the wrong direction. Everyone except Todd ducked. The ball smacked Todd right in the neck.

“What’s wrong with that boy?” Dr. Bidenko muttered.

“Todd always thinks before he reacts,” Ms. Germs said. “Our rats do the opposite. They react before they think. That’s why they’re so good.”

Dr. Bidenko nodded slowly. “True. But I’ve noticed strange things lately.”

“It’s unavoidable,” Ms. Germs sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“All the labs are downsizing. When I first came here, over a thousand people worked in this building.”

“And now?”

“Maybe a hundred.”

“That explains it,” Dr. Bidenko murmured. “Last week I was working on codes and passwords, and my rats acted strangely.”

“What did they do?”

“They used the letter blocks I gave them to spell HELP,” he said. “No codes. No passwords. Just HELP, from dawn to dusk.”

Ms. Germs smiled. “At least your rats are still smart.” She checked her watch. “Recess is over. Let’s get back.”

They stepped inside. Dr. Bidenko glanced at the screens. Ms. Germs leaned over his shoulder.

“Looks like they solved the puzzle,” she said. “They’re in the maze.”

“Yeah, but Sammy’s missing,” Dr. Bidenko muttered.

“Who’s Sammy?”

“Everyone else uses letters and numbers to name their rats,” he explained. “I prefer real names: Timmy, Joey, Sammy.”

“Sammy’s not a bad name,” Ms. Germs said.

“If I don’t find him by tomorrow, he’ll be gone,” Dr. Bidenko sighed. “He’s the third one since September.”

Ms. Germs looked toward the window. “It’s going to be a rainy day tomorrow,” she said. “I hope he’ll be all right.”

FREEMAN

This story is inspired by Rondi’s situation in the thirteenth chapter of Louis Sachar’s Sideways Stories from Wayside School. Before we dive into the fan‑fiction, let’s take a look at Chapter 13, “Rondi.”

CHAPTER 13. RONDI — SUMMARY

Rondi is missing her two front teeth, and suddenly everyone thinks those missing teeth are the cutest things in the world. She can’t understand why—after all, something that doesn’t exist can’t be cute or beautiful. Her classmates start teasing her by complimenting outfits she didn’t wear and laughing at jokes she never told. When she finally tries to tell a real joke, no one pays attention. At recess, she runs outside only to be stopped by Louis, who wants to see her adorable front teeth. She screams and punches him in the stomach.

Uncle Freeman was the most unusual guy Rondi had ever met. He was her dad’s best friend. Unlike most adults, he never ignored anyone—not even kids. He was sharp, warm, and funny all at once, which seemed impossible for anyone, let alone someone her father’s age.

“Freeman’s paying us a visit today,” her dad announced last Saturday.

“Really?” Rondi exclaimed. “That’s amazing!”

“I know,” her dad said. “Freeman never goes to anybody’s place. Everyone wants to go to his mansion, where he throws the best parties in town. And he knows all the famous people in the country.”

The news helped Rondi forget about her two front teeth. They had been wobbling for days, and one had finally dropped that morning.

“Cute!” Freeman exclaimed the moment he saw her. “I’ve always loved missing teeth.”

Rondi clamped her lips shut. “You don’t have to be nice to me,” she muttered. “I’m not a little kid anymore. And you can’t love something that doesn’t exist, can you?”

Freeman plopped onto the couch beside her. “First of all, I’m nobody’s uncle,” he laughed. “So, call me Freeman, because that’s exactly what I am: a free man. Second, less is more.”

Rondi snorted. “Less is more? That’s just a slogan, Freeman.”

“Not if you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “Take me, for example. I sold my house and bought the best pickup truck. Now I travel all over the country in my new trailer home. More friends, more adventures, more freedom. Less is more!”

“You sold your mansion?” Rondi’s dad blurted. “What about your parties? They were the best in town!”

Freeman patted him on the back. “They still are,” he chuckled. “I’m inviting you all to the ultimate barbecue experience outside my trailer. Everyone who’s famous will be there tonight.”

On Monday, Rondi’s second front tooth fell out. That night, she wanted to tell her dad how her classmates had started teasing her, but he was already on a video call with Freeman.

“Where are you now?” her dad laughed. “I thought you said you live in a trailer.”

“Not anymore,” Freeman declared. “I sold my pickup truck and moved to New York City. You don’t need a vehicle around here.”

“But why?” her dad asked.

“Less is more,” Freeman replied. “I have so many friends here I don’t even have to rent a room. I stay with a new friend every two weeks. My social life is richer than ever.”

By the end of the week, Rondi had had enough of her classmates’ teasing. Her missing teeth were cute, the outfits she didn’t wear looked fabulous, and the jokes she didn’t tell were the most hilarious ever.

She even tried telling one of Freeman’s jokes, but nobody listened.

“Have you talked to Freeman lately?” she asked her dad that evening.

He shook his head. “Freeman is gone,” he sighed. “I only received an email from him saying that less is more.”

“What does that mean?”

“He no longer lives in New York,” her dad explained. “He stopped staying with friends to avoid carrying too much emotional luggage. Now he travels all over the country, sleeping on trains and buses. He’s an urban camper or something.”

“But why didn’t he call you?” Rondi asked.

Her dad shrugged. “He carries nothing,” her dad said. “He wears rented suits and owns no bags or devices. He says he’s a completely free man now.”

And that was the last time they ever heard from Uncle Freeman.

BIG MOUTH

This story offers a new perspective on Joy’s decision to place her enormous piece of gum on Jason’s seat in the twelfth chapter of Louis Sachar’s Sideways Stories from Wayside School. Before we dive into the fan‑fiction, let’s take a look at Chapter 12, “Jason.”

CHAPTER 12. JASON — SUMMARY

Jason tells Mrs. Jewls that Joy is chewing gum in class, and the teacher prepares to write Joy’s name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE. Jason volunteers to write it himself, and while he’s at the board, Joy places her huge glob of gum on his seat. When he returns to his desk and sits down, he becomes stuck to his chair. Mrs. Jewls tries several methods to free him (including throwing ice water on him to make the gum less sticky) but nothing works. Just as the three Erics are about to carry Jason and his chair to the bathroom to cut his pants off, Joy promises she can get him unstuck if Mrs. Jewls erases her name from the board. The teacher agrees, and Joy finally frees Jason by kissing him on the nose.

Everyone had had enough of Jason’s big mouth.

It all started on Todd’s birthday last year. He had invited the whole class, promising an unforgettable show. Todd’s parents had hired the most famous magician in town: Mr. Master and His Magical Moments.

Jason sat in the first row.

“I need a volunteer,” Mr. Master announced.

Dozens of hands shot up. Before Mr. Master could pick someone, Jason stood, marched onto the stage, and planted himself beside the magician. Mr. Master asked him to check whether the hat was empty.

Jason peered inside, then nearly burst into laughter.

“Guys!” he shouted. “The hat has a false bottom. Lean this way. You can see it better!”

Mr. Master froze.

“Jason, what are you doing?” Todd yelled.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Jason snapped. “I’m saving your show! Can’t you see the rabbit up his sleeve? It’s been trying to escape since the show started.”

Mr. Master packed up his props and stormed out. Todd’s mother begged him to stay, but he refused.

“Don’t call me again,” he said. “And I’ll make sure the other entertainers know what kind of hosts you are.”

With the show canceled, the children drifted home. Todd felt helpless and humiliated.

“You have such a big mouth, Jason,” he muttered.

“That’s not true,” Jason replied. “Joy’s mouth is bigger.”

Nobody invited Jason to another birthday party. And when he invited them to his own, everyone was suddenly very busy.

Mrs. Jewls knew nothing about Jason’s reputation. She always punished Todd for talking in class, but somehow she never heard Jason at all.

Until the day Jason couldn’t keep his mouth shut again.

Mrs. Jewls’s birthday was approaching, and Miss Mush decided to throw her a surprise party at lunch. Everyone agreed to keep it secret.

But when Mrs. Jewls arrived that morning, she felt a little hurt. No one had wished her a happy birthday. Jason was the last to leave the classroom for recess and noticed her sitting alone at her desk.

“May I help you, Mrs. Jewls?” he asked. “You look upset.”

Mrs. Jewls smiled. “I’m not upset,” she said. “Jason, do you know what day it is today?”

“Oh! You think we forgot your birthday!” Jason exclaimed. “Don’t worry! Miss Mush is throwing you a surprise party at lunchtime.”

When Miss Mush heard what Jason had done, she canceled the party on the spot and threw away her cake. The entire school was furious, but no one knew how to deal with Jason.

“I may have an idea,” Joy said. “But I’ll need a piece of gum from each of you.”

Everyone handed over their gum. Joy had the biggest mouth in class, and she stuffed every piece inside. At first her jaw ached and she could barely breathe, but soon she managed to chew steadily.

The bell rang. Everyone returned to their seats.

Jason noticed the huge bulge in Joy’s cheek.

“Mrs. Jewls,” he called out without raising his hand, “Joy is chewing gum in class!”

Mrs. Jewls reached for the chalk to write Joy’s name on the board, but Jason jumped up.

“I’ll write it for you!”

While he was at the board, Joy removed the giant glob of gum and placed it on his chair. When Jason returned, he sat down, and smiled at Joy.

Joy smiled back.